Florida.

Florida was beautiful...and timely. It was refreshing to be with five youth who impressed us time and time again with their maturity and integrity.
Strangely, we really felt like we were in our element. Teenagers, a three year old, a crazy long drive and a week of spontaneous adventure in the hot weather . We couldn't have asked for more! Thank you, CTF Youth Network for an unforgettable time!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

For a long time now, I have wanted to play the fiddle.

I revealed this to Mark one year ago, and in the spring right before we went to Disney he surprised me with a violin to call my own. Of course, like any instrument, it was hidden in the laundry basket. Right? After folding some towels while casually chatting with Mark about his day I uncovered it (in its black case). Confused, I tried to convince myself it was something that a friend had left at our place. No, that wasn't it. It was mine...all mine.

He remembered.

Mum and dad Hardy bought me some lessons for Christmas. I have had three lessons and am now officially hooked. I like my teacher and I am even practicing. Woot.

What I really wanted to share with this post is a one of the two very profound experiences that motivate me to play the fiddle...

Two months after Hurricane Katrina, I went to New Orleans. I was the youngster in a group of adults whom I didn't really know. But they were going...so I went too. The disaster had truly moved me to the point where I HAD to help someway, somehow. Most days, we distributed items from a church facility that was still standing and undamaged. Diapers, soap, toilet paper, canned food, etc. We slept in a gymnasium with a curtain separating the women from the men. Strangely, nothing I wasn't used to as this is how we slept in Costa Rica (that story is for another time). One morning a group of us drove out into some of the harder-hit neighbourhoods with instruments. I remember the spray painted codes left on each house. Symbols left by policemen and firefighters saying not only had they searched the building, but also what they had found in there. The number of people, pets, etc.

The brownish water line had marked everything. This line was where the water finally settled long enough to leave its mark before finally disappearing..

So there we were, in the streets of New Orleans- a place known to be alive with music. It was eerie and quiet. I looked around and saw only a handful of people scattered down the long road...clearing up. We started off walking, singing along to a guitar and a drum beat. We sang songs about hope and about and Love. We wanted a break from the depressing distribution centre.

We wanted our music to bring LIFE to the streets. All of a sudden, Georgian Banov started to play the fiddle. This guy was AMAZING. That instrument alone could get anyone's foot tapping. It was like magic- we all perked up, the people we passed were smiling...like, genuinely. He played and played and played his heart out. Jigs and reels...man, it was fun.

I will never forget thinking, "I want to do that".

Eight months later I went back to New Orleans. This time, with my friend Jacob and two van-loads of youth. The main project that week was gutting a house for someone (clearing away the black mold and damage). It was really hard work. That time, there was no music to fuel us when we were feeling weak. We just kept going...and I really missed the fiddle.

I am glad to be starting to learn an instrument now that I am old enough to appreciate the opportunity. In grade 2, I didn't look forward to practicing piano. Now, I put Adelaide to bed and I go into Mark's studio to play. Sometimes he joins me with the guitar, and sometimes he retreats to the PS3 for a bit ;) So far, the journey has been an extra challenge added to my plate of balancing uni and motherhood...but I am sooo thankful for it.

Next time I will write about seeing Canada's own Natalie MacMaster play at a fundraising gala.
Talk about INSPIRING!

Perfector

I'm loving My Epic right now. Nothing like incredible music with a SOLID theology.

I'm still a young man so I think very little of death, but who really does till it's coming for them? And I know with each breath I come one closer, but death is just a hook behind the door where I'll leave my dirty clothes....

They may dump my body in the sea or spread my ashes miles wide, but it won't matter, all my parts will realign. They will rush to find each other when they hear their Lover's cry and death will be abandoned when He comes back for His bride!

Saints are never buried, they are seeds planted who bring about a greater harvest when they burst forth from the earth that needed their fruits, but it could never hope to make enough room for their roots.

Death is swallowed up, it owns nothing in me! Oh, death is swallowed up, it owns nothing in me!

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful ones!
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His faithful ones! Oh, death is swallowed up!

Oh, it was always You! It was always You! Oh, it was always You! It was always You!
Oh, it was always You! It was always You! Oh, it was always You! It was always You!
Oh, it was always You! It was always You!

My Epic - Perfector

Warrior.

As many of you know, the precious boy that we have worked with for two years passed away at the end of October. It was sudden. It was devastating.

I won't go into how much his soul, his smile, and his family meant to us. I will say that through this experience we have learned a lot about family and about grieving together.
His mother, someone we both admire, expresses herself ever so eloquently on this blog:
The latest post is about how her other son (born two years after Owen) has found support at school...from his teacher and classmates. It is so beautiful that after wiping away tears I had to share it here. Children, in their innocence, can be enormous pillars of strength when given the chance. They amaze me.

At the funeral, I learned something else. I learned that Owen's name meant "warrior".
Of course it did.

I miss you, Owen.

Party time.

Gingerbread lattes...

I have been caffeine-free since the start of October. I don't feel very different, but it feels good to order my gingerbread latte decaf for some reason.
Every winter Mark and I joke about having to budget in warm beverages...we're that bad.
My favourite Second Cup, on King St. East is where we'll toast to the completion of my exams. The last one is tomorrow- and just imagine, I've gone through studying without my old friend caffeine :)

Human.

My prof said this yesterday,
"we don't judge because we're bad people, we judge because we're human."
I have been thinking about it ever since. Why does this sentence bother me so much?
What does it even mean to my prof? To me?

Something called Anti Oppressive practice is emerging in social work. Gosh, I have read about it until my eyes bulged like those funny looking fish.
It is a framework that recognizes the service user (client) is viewed as the expert of their own life. A framework that outlines principles such as being anti-racist, anti-discriminatory, empowering, inclusive, adressing societal barriers and intersecting oppressions and lastly, being non-judgemental. Does this sound too good to be true? Do you think people can ACTUALLY work with strangers like this?

Have you ever noticed how hard it is not to judge someone? It happens so quickly.Too quickly.
Even though I am guilty, it still REALLY bothers me when I hear someone making a negative assumption or judgement about someone they barely know based on a simple fact, gesture or appearance. Even worse, when they have heard something about that person from someone else (not even observing it for themselves).

I don't like feeling judged, and I don't want "being human" to be my excuse for judging someone else.

Just a thought...

The Centre of our Joy.

Yesterday we attended Toronto's annual Santa Claus Parade. It was fantastic. My favourite were the drummers in the marching bands. Thump thump thump...

We sat on the curb of Avenue Road for about 4 hours in total. Sure, the floats were a bit tacky and silly...and of course whenever the Mounties passed by their horses made a big stink. Amidst all the commercialism and Santa-craze the atmosphere was hopeful and thousands of children looked really really happy. My heart was full watching the parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts and uncles surrounding me act like...well, like children. *One day I have to write a post about what happens to parents when they become grandparents*.

Mark had never been to a Christmas event like this, and while it was verging on what he'd coin as, 'American', he spent most of the day enjoying the music as well as the free coffee and treats.



We don't mind Santa. He isn't like Satan to us. He doesn't come close to stealing the glory of Christmas in our home, he's simply another character in a lot of Christmas movies and on wrapping paper, etc. Addie won't grow up to worship him or write to him around this time of year, but she certainly likes the 'idea' of him at the moment. Can you blame her?

On November 11th we put our lovely red, white, and silver-themed tree up. I know, I know. Don't even say it. Last week we spent a morning sneakily shopping without Adelaide so that we could start to grab a few pressies for her. We both felt an overwhelming desire to bless her this year. The older she gets, the more fun present-buying is.

Now, I LOVE presents. Gifts are certainly one of my main love languages. I SO enjoy planning them, buying them (Mark is constantly amazed) and of course receiving them, but this year it is all about our Addie. I finally get why my parents had barely any presents under the tree for themselves...

As we continue to get ready for Advent and Christmas - hanging stockings, having people round for yummy things to eat and drink almost every night, and (hopefully) enjoying a bit of snow-we are reminded to unashamedly make Jesus the centre of our joy, our fun, and our gladness.
He IS the good news.
He is our reason to be merry.
He gave us beauty for ashes.
He is our eternal present,
our highest prize.

Look for Him, especially in this season...He is right here in our midst.

Snails eat chicken

Mark loves the smell of playdough. We manage to make most of the things that Adelaide requests. The only thing I didn't even try was Snow White. There was just no way...

We also think she said that she wanted a 'little sister' the other day (as she shows us the baby character from her doll house). Of course that would be the ultimate toy, right?
Oh, Addie...you make us laugh.

Free indeed.

"I don't want to stand still
I just want to freewheel

I don't want to lose this"
Duke Special, Freewheel

I love the freedom in your songs
the way you make anything a tune...
The little things worth singing about
you lunch
your toys
your friends
The noise...is a beautiful sound
a little bit of heaven
a tiny glimpse of wonder
and appreciation for creatures
big and small
A glorious reminder
that we are children
inside
though we forget to sing
sometimes
we are shy
once in a while
And we long to know the freedom
on your lips, little girl.
Every morning
in your heart
all day long

Run, dream, live and sing free,
Adelaide.

Cause' you're free indeed.

Timing.

Mark, Adelaide and I caught a bit of the Mountain Movers conference at church this morning. We were delighted to find that the speaker was a representative of the provincial level of government here in Ontario. He was a soft spoken older gentleman named Mario who had a lot of wisdom to share. I found his insight really encouraging to me at this point in my journey. Here are a few quotes in regards to timing that I couldn't help but jot down on an envelope in my purse,

"Never underestimate the power of preparation. David practiced by killing the lion and the bear before Goliath, and Esther had twelve months to learn how to act appropriately in the courts...Jesus said to his own mother that it was not yet time."

It was just another reminder that we don't have to be in a rush. Everything has its appointed time, and although it is hard to submit to times and seasons of preparation, it pays off.

Wake the dawn...

My sleep pattern this month has been...well, interesting. Adelaide sleeps from 8:30pm-7am. Mark could and would sleep anytime anywhere given the chance. So it is just me. It takes everything within me not to wake Mark up for company...argh!

While it was worrying in the beginning, I now see it simply as a phase that will pass.
I appreciate my spontaneous 2AM baths or 3AM snacks.

I play Scramble, a version of Boggle, on Mark's iTouch or I read my Bible and pray.
It seems that I am growing spiritually in the wee hours of the morning. I feel more awake than ever. This entire month has been altogether sobering.

This Psalm in particular is becoming more of a real anthem in my heart through it all,

"My heart is confident in you, O God;
my heart is confident.
No wonder I can sing your praises!
Wake up, my heart! Wake up, O lyre and harp! I will wake the dawn with my song.
I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.
I will sing your praises among the nations.
For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.
Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.
May your glory shine over all the earth."

We had an awesome weekend in London, Ontario at a posh hotel (thanks mom & dad)fully equipped with hot tub and fancy cheese, so I can't complain. In fact, I am feeling very VERY blessed and refreshed! Very confident that God is for me and not against me...
even in the middle of the night.

Canada's Most Urban University

Check out this article about Ryerson. With my social work placement on the go, I am still glad that I am required to be on campus twice a week (mainly for my research course)...is that nerdy?

Fall Cleaning...

I don't know about you, but I find that the arrival of Fall is very much like the arrival of Spring.
I know that there is much more of an element of new life with Spring; the feeling of emergence from death, a primeval elation from having survived the Winter. But for me, Fall also signifies a milestone.
I've always loved the Autumn, for lots of reasons. Bonfire night was always a favourite with me, and my birthday falls at the end of November. Of course, it also signals the approach of Christmas and winter with all the fun of snow and ice. I know not everyone gets as excited as me and Beth over Winter weather, but hey.

I also find that when Autumn comes, I have a huge desire to get things done. To decorate, renovate, clean things out and generally become more productive. Perhaps it's a part of me left over from my school days, when September indicated a return to an attitude of work. I think for me, more than anything though, it's a feeling of having made it through the Summer. Let's face it - after weeks of mid 30s temperatures, with the humidity taking it up to the mid 40s, nobody in their right mind would be arguing with this cooler weather. So, it's decided. Autumn: it's the new Spring.

Right, I'm off to clean out the basement, paint the house, build a shed and work on the garden. And that's just before I go to work in half an hour. Enjoy the season!

Forgiveness

"Cause we're all guilty of the same things
We think the thoughts whether or not we see them through
And I know that I have been forgiven
And I just hope you can forgive me too..."
~Relient K

This is a link to a true story. I just happened upon it as I was clearing out email from my overflowing university email account. One link led me to another led me to another.
Amazing, really.
God speaks to us. He takes time to speak to us in so many different ways.
Today, He is speaking to me about forgiveness and it is weighing heavy on my heart.

Do you need to forgive someone in your life?

Release them, release yourself...replace the bitterness that is aging you with an energetic joy and peace.

Happy Camper

City Hope Summer Camp, 2010

We made it! Six weeks later and not only am I alive, I have many hilarious and many touching stories to tell. Enough for a book.

Our big 'finale' trip to Centre Island is tomorrow, and the forecast couldn't look any better. Thankful is an understatement.

What a crazy, wonderful summer it has been...

Friends.

I am surrounded by so many strong, talented, vibrant, POSITIVE, and nurturing women.
I never have to look far for inspiration or encouragement. Oh, and the occasional kick-in-the-butt. We all need those, too. :)

I'm Yours

Mark has been back home in his native land, England, for a week now.
The primary reason for going to visit his family now was to be the Best Man at Max and Katherine's wedding on July 31st. What an honour. Naturally, he has been tattooing loads there too as people have waited patiently for him to be in the UK so that they could get their work done by Mark.
Adelaide and I have been keeping busy busy busy. Some girlfriends have stayed with us so we have had some yummy food and lots of fun. Yesterday we had a fab time in London with my mom and dad. It's been a good week.
But I miss him like crazy. I heard this playing and wished I had a private jet to see him even a just a little bit sooner...how did we cope with long-distance for two years?!



"...there's no need to complicate, our time is short - this is our fate, I'm yours.."

He arrives from Manchester (where this shaky youtube video was recorded) airport tomorow night at 7:20pm.
Adelaide and I have just blown up balloons and taken the cake out of the oven ;)
We had to get through today somehow!

Blue One

Addie, Grandma and I went on a mission tonight to obtain what is now her very first real pet.

*I say real only because she has an inflatable shark in the bathtub whom she talks to and bathes regularly.*

Mission accomplished. I asked what his name was as they bagged him up in the Safari pet store and her response was a confident (as usual), "Blue One". She was allowed to carry the fish from the van to the steps as I very cautiously guided her and felt a bit sorry for the fish.
This moment was too cute for words! :)

My American Dream

" I want out of this machine, it doesn't feel like freedom.
This ain't my American dream, I want to live and die for bigger things.
I'm tired of fighting for just me,
This ain't my American dream."
-Switchfoot, American Dream

Is it mid-July already? Yikes! This incredibly warm summer is flying by already.
I just wanted to check-in as I won't be blogging much until the end of August. That's right.
I will be busy living one of MY "American Dreams"- hanging out with 6-13 year-olds in St.Jamestown. I know. Loooong story.

It's summer camp. You know, swimming, community art projects like murals, spray-painting, soccer, volleyball, a lot of laughing, storytelling, the boys-chasing-girls, and quality time.
Can you imagine a FREE camp? Imagine that HERE:

'St. James Town is the largest high-rise community in Canada. It consists of 19 high-rise buildings (14 to 32 stories). These massive residential towers were built in the 1960s. Approximately 17,000 people live in the neighbourhood's 19 apartment towers, making it Canada's most densely populated community,^[1] and one of the most densely populated neighbourhoods anywhere in NORTH AMERICA.
St. James Town is one of Toronto's poorest neighbourhoods.

I am so honoured to be directing this project under the banner of non-profit organization,
City Hope. And all of this under an even bigger banner, of course. Under LOVE.
Lots and lots of love for lots and lots of kids.

Ooooooh St.Jamestown, I know you so well and yet you remain a mystery.
You won my heart long, long ago... this will be your best summer yet.
Serving your children is a dream come true!