Thoughts on Love, from Chicago

"Hang my locket around your neck, wear my ring on your finger.
Love is invincible facing danger and death.
Passion laughs at the terrors of hell. The fire of love stops at nothing- it sweeps everything before it. Flood waters can't drown love, torrents of rain can't put it out."
~ Song of Songs 8, MSG.

I am writing this on the eight-hour journey home from our first visit to Chicago, Illinois. Mark is driving, and no doubt making good use of the cruise control feature. The sun has literally just broken through the clouds. The fields on either side of the Interstate are barren, slowly recovering from winter-shock. Still, we both remark on how stunning golden hour is on these American fields. Mark and I share a deep appreciation for the unique and the lovely United States. We marvel at our opportunity to visit our southern neighbours in only the second month of Obama's presidency.
I can't put my finger on what exactly it is about roadtrips that I find so worshipful. The open road, the maps, the laughter, the anticipation, the fact that I enjoy being behind the wheel...it probably has something to do with the long silence that creeps up between pit stops and cd changes. This trip was to celebrate our second wedding anniversary. It puts a smile on my face to think back. Two years ago this time we were all pruny from the jacuzzi in our private little Victorian inn, getting ready for a night out on the town in Montreal. We must have been BEAMING with that unmistakeable newly-wed glow.
I hope those vivid memories of our beginnings never fade...and I hope one day we finally master Quebecois French :)
Fast forward to this year in Chicago's intimate 'Metro' music venue, where on the very evening of our anniversary, Jimmy Eat World played our favourite album, Clarity, from start to finish. You can imagine how fast the gig sold out back in November! The most thrilling moment was holding each other's hand whilst being engulfed in the song I walked down the aisle to, For Me This Is Heaven. Layers of memories intertwined in the sound waves overwhelmed us over and over again...the walls must have stretched to contain them.
This all set the bar quite high for next year ;)

I am thinking about how drastically different life is with a husband, with a partner. I am thinking about how fierce and strong our love truly is. This Delirious lyric is playing in the background,
"hold me, blow all the pride from my bones, with your fire..." I am reminded of all the big and barely noticeable ways my pride has been uncovered, confronted, and challenged by marriage.
This union, our oneness simply cannot cope with it. So, we have and are still changing- transforming just from doing life together, learning from mistakes and always wanting to care for each other better. When I choose pride, whatever is at my best interest, what would make me look good, or embrace 'my way or-the-highway' attitudes over walking in love, I am squeezing out of that bond of oneness into a place of individuality and control. It is rather awkward when you think about it- kind of like being in a three-legged race and deciding to walk at a different pace. So in such a time as this, when I look at society and see 'Quick Divorce' adverts and people letting go of marriages for a lot of reasons, there lies a choice for me. It is the difference between pride and humility, selfishness or serving...daily preferring, daily choosing Mark. When I just sit with my Heavenly Father, when I submit to His river and let it carry me, it pulls me into a deeper love for Mark and for people. With His help I make the choice to give of my whole self, to love, to let go.
We have been reading a book together called, The Kosher Sutra. It is written by an AMAZING author named Rabbi Shmuley Boteach (host of Shalom In The Home). The book actually focuses on eroticism, but not at all in the way that we understand it. Eroticism in every day existence, as opposed to boredom, so not just romantically and not at all with whips or chains. Mark will post a proper review soon - it has changed our lives.
Anyway,there is this passage I read recently that reminded me of my inspiring husband and one of the many ways he is so attractive to me. Beyond his dangerous good looks and wicked sense of humour lies his innocence, his childlikeness...which is so precious to me.

"What makes the innocent person so deeply charming and erotic is the openness of their heart. Because their souls are translucent, you can see right into their essence. Innocent people disarm us. Because they are so natural, they invite us to behave naturally around them as well, allowing for our deepest selves to be manifest. Indeed, they posess the unique gift of making us not have to take ourselves too seriously as they never invite competition. Similarly babies, the most innocent creatures of all, bring out the best in even the toughest people because they force us to be genuine.They cause us to stop acting and just "be ourselves". Unskilled in the art of manipulation, the innocent person accepts the humanity and infinite worth of every individual. With no agenda other than sharing, openness, and love, the innocent person allows us to lessen our guard as well. The manipulative person, on the contrary, sees others as the means by which to achieve his own selfish ends."

Chicago was better than we could have asked for, really. Our hotel overlooked glorious Grant Park. We took the above-ground transit (the L) all over the city exploring, filming, buzzing with excitement. The architecture was impressive, we stood in awe of some towers. We found an amazing little bakery, a delicious diner, and beyond-belief breakfast place. The people were friendly, the weather was mostly sunny and mild. We stood behind Jim from The Office in the Art Institute, and took in a cracking good NHL game where the captain of the Blackhawks scored his first hat trick and the place erupted. The long, wide avenues lit up at night are tremendously romantic. Totally worth it.
Did I mention that Mark's colleague from work dropped a bag-o-cash on his desk before we left? It had $275. How generous are our friends?! :)
Alrighty, time to stretch our legs and grab a tea to see us on until we pass through Detroit and reach the border.

You can check out more photos of us in The Windy City here.