Rewind, reflect.

Mark, Adelaide and the adorable 'playgroup' spent the entire day gallavanting at the Toronto Zoo. They took a yellow school bus and all. I was only mildly jealous until I saw their pictures of the snow leopards - my favourite.

Where was I? I was at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre, feeling like a sardine in the midst of countless students and an odd amount of security, if I do say so, to write my final exam of the semester. Satisfaction achieved.

Finishing this year off was actually worth missing a packed lunch in front of the hippos.

So I wrote down somewhat of an academic reflection. Looking back over the last three years spent studying, learning and practicing social work at good ol' Ryerson, and let's not forget my short yet successful year at OCAD, I am quite pleased with how much has been accomplished on this journey of mine/ours.

Here is a run down of the courses I have invested time and heart into.

Art History
Liberal Studies: The Essay and the Argument
Drawing
Colour Exploration
Form and Structure
Time-Based Media

Foundations of Social Work P1
Foundations of Social Work P2
Canadian Politics and Government P1
Canadian Politics and Government P2
History of the Caribbean
Canadian Criminal Justice
Local Government in Canada
Psychology P1
Psychology P2
Sociology P1
Sociology P2
Social Welfare Policy and Programs P1
Social Welfare Policy and Programs P2
Power, Resistance and Change
Social Work Theories
Aboriginal Approaches to Social Work~*wrote a letter of commendation for my amazing prof*
Transformative Social Work Practice P1
Transformative Social Work Practice P2~*wrote a letter of commendation for my amazing prof*

Only 930 hrs of placement to go, an enormous amount of daunting research and a few bits-and-bobs courses to complete my degree. Honestly, I cannot describe how immensely grateful I am to be a student...amongst my other fabulous roles (wife&mommy kinda tops the list!). I like school. I just get it. Sometimes feel as though I popped into this world writing an essay. Or maybe my name was the result of some multiple choice answer I filled out in the womb. Hmmm, this sounds strangely possible considering how much I dislike being unproductive...

Anyway, in one week we are off to Disneyland with our English family to have some fun and enjoy the rare treat of being together. Mark usually gets me a little pressie (or two) when I am done exams, but he didn't have to this year as seeing Addie giggle in Mickey Mouse ears will be the ultimate treat :)

Just another Switchfoot song ...

The sky is the bluest of blues, I am working on a Psych paper for uni, I am sipping tea and this is what is playing in the background...have a lovely day whoever you are!


Always

This is the start
This is your heart
This is the day you were born
This is the sun
These are your lungs
This is the day you were born

And I am always yours

These are the scars
Deep in your heart
This is the place you were born
This is the hole
Where most of your soul
Comes ripping out
From the places you’ve been torn

And it is always yours
But I am always yours

Hallelujah!
I’m caving in
Hallelujah!
I’m in love again
Hallelujah!
I’m a wretched man
Hallelujah!
Every breath is a second chance

And it is always yours
And I am always yours

More than meets the eye...

Ah, here we are - Mark and I.
*When he gave me the mini Optimus Prime as a stocking stuffer while we were dating I melted *. So, it turns out all these years later we DO have superpowers.

Adelaide has strep throat which isn't a fun thing to add to the mix, however, our cuddles fix EVERYTHING. Yes, everything.
We make it better. It's amazing.

Being a mummy is not for the faint-hearted, but some days it gives you the confidence to scale any wall.

For Addie, we're superheros - we're the safest place on earth.

Thoughts from the pool...

This morning we woke up to the terrible news that Chile had experienced a horrific earthquake.
We sat in our hotel room, watching the news and untouched by the disaster.
Even now we are praying for Chile and always for Haiti.
Our third anniversary is tomorrow. We are thrilled as you can imagine and have had such a lush time together celebrating. Below are some flowing thoughts from the romantic pool we had all to ourselves :) . They may not resonate with you, but I hope you feel some of the peace oozing out of them. We find ourselves surprisingly and overwhelmingly thankful today...I had to post.


Breathing calmly, undisturbed. I'm horizontal... just floating. Listening to the water supporting me, and looking up into the deep, endless, navy sky.
Intentionally savouring the moment ... the next one, the next one. Separating thoughts and hitting 'pause'. I picture my husband, I picture my daughter. Uncontrollably, my heart reaches outside this earth, it penetrates the navy sky. Frantically finding heaven it cries, "thank you".

Like a helpless little baby or a lover at a loss for words.

"Thank you for this life."

How come I get to be so...free? How come I was given choice? Why do I get to enjoy my family while others have lost theirs? Why has tragedy not come and knocked down my door?

Why is love all around ME? How come I am never without hope? What did I do to deserve laughter, rest, comfort?

My hands, my arms are moving without me thinking - they help me float so to be still inside.
Searching myself, acknowledging my different roles. There is an abundance of peace and understanding. I know these things, they are mine ... more real than feelings, pure as gold.

I look outside and there is snow. I think about all the things I REALLY like, everything that makes me smile. All of them, within reach ... I am focused on the life they bring.
It is our wedding anniversary, but until Mark joins me here, alone as I float I feel connected.
To the water, to the sky, to God, to my husband, to my daughter, to myself, to our life unfolding and unwritten. Savouring the moment, savouring myself. I am beautifully content and could die happily here floating ... as the navy gets thicker and as God gets closer.
I am carried, just floating. Holding on to the strength that will be with me in any hardship yet to come...I whisper, "love, love, love".

Explosively and without words it soars, "thank you for this life."

To A Kiss

By Robert Burns


Humid seal of soft affections,
Tend'rest pledge of future bliss,
Dearest tie of young connections,
Love's first snow-drop, virgin kiss.


Speaking silence, dumb confession,
Passion's birth, and infants' play,
Dove-like fondness, chaste concession,
Glowing dawn of brighter day.


Sorrowing joy, adieu's last action,
Ling'ring lips, -- no more to join!
What words can ever speak affection
Thrilling and sincere as thine!



I love this poem...

Tonight we ate, drank, danced and were merry in honour of the great romantic and Scottish Nationalist, Robbie Burns. It was a jolly-good time and even topped last year's celebration. Robbie Burns' Day is officially on the 25th (my sister shares his birthday), but we celebrated tonight at the Royal Canadian Legion Branch 31. As my grandfather served in WW2 and is a member of branch 75, we decided the beer is cheap and the company is gold - sooooooo we applied as his grandchildren to become members ourselves. Oooo, they have darts, and snooker although I'm not to keen on that one.

Here's to many more memorable nights at the legion! CHEERS!

Commissioned

Well, 2010, you're off to a good start. Still, I can't believe it is the 12th day into this new year already. Only next month we will be celebrating our little girl's second birthday, and our third wedding anniversary. Winter won't relent for some time, though. It always takes longer than I expect to see flowers in people's gardens.

The new year has ushered in some new opportunities. I am thrilled to be working on not one but TWO commissioned paintings this week. One is for close friends in England, and the other for some friends right here in Toronto - well, down at Harbourfront to be exact. I always feel like I'm on holiday down there by the lake, don't you?

Although I love painting for fun and feel as though my artwork is always meaningful/purposed, it is refreshing to be given some guidance and boundaries along the way. Feels a little like when I was at OCAD, but without the critiques and grades. Deadlines are my friend :)

So, I thought I'd stop to pass on this update as I am googling images to inspire me while Addie sleeps - this will be my first time creating a representation of poppies on canvas.
2010 will be a year of many things, and creative adventure seems to be one of them!

Seeing the Invisible

Check out this proposed bill which is likely to be passed in France:
Psychological Violence
Do you think this will, in fact, help to stop physical violence against women in the home?

Wrap Up

Grace sporting her new hair clip.

Adelaide on a present frenzy.

Mark secretly putting together Adelaide's kitchen in our room on Christmas Eve.

One delicious meal after another!

Christmas holidays were verging on legendary this year. WOW. Thanks to everyone reading this who sent cards and gifts, or who sat at our table and chit chatted for hours on end or played with Addie until you were worn out, or distracted Mark from his iPod Touch (haha) or just added JOY to our lives in 2009. We have just been overwhelmed - we are so rich in love!
Now, our plan is to count down to New Year on English time tomorrow evening as there is no way Addie will stay up until 11pm even. That means at 7pm our time we'll be singing, jumping, lighting sparklers and clinking glasses. Everyone else will just be late!

Mr.Hardy and I went on a smashing date to see Sherlock Holmes this week. I have been looking forward to this film for quite a while now and have to say I highly recommend paying to see it in theatres. It was a bit dark, quirky, suspenseful, and humorous of course. I particularly liked how Holmes was portrayed as almost mad. You can't expect more from a genius, can you?

On a totally separate note, I have had a number of requests to see Mark's 2009 Christmas Quiz. Here it is, displayed in all of Papyrus' splendour. You can imagine his face upon opening it.
He scored a whopping 60%, and didn't use his lifeline of phone-a-friend (yes, that would have been you, James). How many can you solve?

Moving Pictures

So, I'm not really the best person to write this post. I think my good friend James Bower is actually the expert on the subject. But as he's not posted anything like this yet, and as I guess my opinion is just as valid, if not as informed, as his, then I'll have a go.

What are my top five Christmas movies?

I'm going to say this right off the bat. I've never watched White Christmas or It's a Wonderful Life all the way through before, so they didn't make the list. Maybe one day I'll watch them. Maybe I won't.

I also feel like there should be an honourable mention here for The Snowman. It didn't make my final list, because it's not a movie. But it's excellent, and to my mind the best animated Christmas film. If you haven't seen it (and if you're not from England, the chances are you haven't) then I suggest you find some way of seeing it. Right, on with the list, then.

5. Elf.

Will Ferrel was the perfect choice for the lead role in this movie. Buddy the Elf is so silly and childish, which Ferrel pulls off really well, and it's so different from his usual stuff that I can still watch it without getting bored.
The story, as with most modern American Christmas movies, is generally focused on the importance of Christmas Spirit, without which Santa (the true hero of Christmas) is unable to operate.
That being said, it's not too insipid, and it's all rather light-hearted.
I also love how wholesome it is. There's a love interest. They kiss. There's even a shower scene. but there isn't a hint of sexuality in it. It's about finding love, not sex.
Thoroughly enjoyable.


4. Santa Claus (AKA Santa Claus the Movie)

Dudley Moore. Loop the looping reindeer. Exploding candy canes. Need I say anything more? A favourite from my childhood.

3. Scrooged

A very 1980s take on the classic Dickens story. Bill Murray plays Frank Cross, a hardened, and rather odd television programming executive. His love of money and his career has made him lose sight of what really matters. True to the original, he is visited by three ghosts (four if you count his old boss) who show him the true meaning of Christmas. The whole thing runs alongside the preparations for (and execution of) Cross' own rather selfish televised version of A Christmas Carol, leading to an excellent scene of confusion later in the film.
The movie really plays on the success of Ghostbusters, which had been a smash hit for Murray four years previously. The design of Scrooged is excellent, with very memorable ghosts. I particularly enjoy the Ghost of Christmas Present, who is rather silly, and just a touch violent.

2. The Muppet Christmas Carol

Whenever I watch one of the newer Muppet movies, I'm rather disappointed. I always expect them to be so good, and most of the time they're terrible. Even watching the old Muppet Show episodes is a bit of a let down for me.
But this version of A Christmas Carol is fantastic.
From start to finish, the direction is pretty much flawless. Michael Caine is perfect as old Ebeneezer, and the casting of Waldorf and Stadtler as Marley and Marley is inspired. I even find myself singing the songs in the middle of summer. This movie alone is probably the reason I expect so much from all the other Muppet Movies. Brilliant.

1. Home Alone

This one has everything. Cute kid. Slapstick comedy. Scary old guy. Church scene. John Candy...
For me, it has some of the most memorable scenes of any Christmas movie, and I'm not just talking about the traps Kevin sets for the unfortunate criminals. Remember the movie Kevin watches? What about Beth's favourite, Uncle Frank: "look what you did, you little jerk".
Everything about it works for me. The score (John Williams) is excellent, and the soundtrack works really nicely too. I've probably watched it five times already this year, and I'm not tired of it yet.
The second one wasn't that shabby either. Too bad they had to ruin it with the third. Seriously.

Tis the season to be simple.

Today, in Adelaide's parent/tot group, we had the Christmas party. Ohhhhh yeah... you can imagine it. Lots of glitter, glue, stars, sparkles, songs, giggles, treats and group pictures.
I often wonder, would Christmas even happen without group pictures?
Much to my delight, everyone brought something delicious to add to the mix (one day I shall write about just how much I enjoy a proper potluck). It was super fun.

To be honest, I was going to write about our silly little Hardy Christmas traditions. Like how I draw up a wacky Christmas quiz for Mark every year and present him with it Christmas morn'. Or how we watch a crazy amount of classic holiday movies on Christmas Eve until we fall asleep.

So why am I still thinking about a little boy in the group who said to his mom the other night how he wished Addie was his sister? Not sure, really. It is obvious that this little tyke has seriously taken to our family. One of two twins, the other twin died shortly after birth. He is...well, he is just lovely that's all.

I sometimes think that everyone could really benefit from hanging out with littlies once a week or something. Does that sound ridiculous? Just an hour with some five-year-olds...it does me the world of good and brings me so much life. I wouldn't describe myself as a 'kid' person. I don't enjoy messy rooms or disorganization, I don't find it hilarious when my blouse has been coloured on, I dislike tantrums, and practically curl up in to the fetal position when a child picks their nose and eats it. IT KILLS ME just a little bit each time, I swear.

Check out the book of Matthew and you'll find something like this;
"At about the same time, the disciples came to Jesus asking, "Who gets the highest rank in God's kingdom?" For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom."

Really? As in SIMPLE, simple?
Not Complicated. Unassuming. Sincere. Unpretentious. Not artificial. Humble. Easy to understand. Mere. Bare. Unmistakable. Guileless.
These words look and sound good for some reason. Now that you mention it, I do kinda like the idea of being that sort of person.
Here's the dilemma: I was that person. I was a kid! Then I put away childish things and I grew up. THAT is a good thing, my friend. It sure is in many ways.
Still, I guess there are ways of being and things on the inside that you just don't have to grow out of. Like being humble, or being sincere. It is so easy to be that person with kids.
Oh, how they see right through you....

Again, in the Amplified Version:

And said, Truly I say to you, unless you repent (change, turn about) and become like little children [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving], you can never enter the kingdom of heaven [at all]. Whoever will humble himself therefore and become like this little child [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving] is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives and accepts and welcomes one little child like this for My sake and in My name receives and accepts and welcomes Me.

Would the world even go round if everyone subscribed to this? Hmm.

Now that Addie is in our lives, I think about verses and ideas like these a lot more.
I think I am starting to understand what Jesus was saying here, still only skimming the surface.
I bet Jesus made the best sandcastles, though...

Adelaide is no perfect little angel. She has grabbed things away from that boy I mentioned, sometimes accidently destroyed his craft or stepped on his foot - collided with him on the way to sit down for snack or outright ignored him...you get the idea. Still, he wants her to be his sister, apparently. She walks in every morning with a clean slate in his books.
Other than what to wear tomorrow, that's what I'm thinking about at the moment ;)

Red and Green

This video was a lot of fun to make. It is remarkable what one can accomplish while little girls sleep, isn't it? So, Mark's birthday and all relating festivities have come and gone. This can only mean one thing - that Christmas is around the corner. I am seeing red and green.

We have almost finished buying pressies. Our trip across the border to Buffalo in a few days will probably be the grand finale, although I am more excited to go ice skating there than to shop!

Today, I made a particularly wonderful purchase for the very occasion of Christmas ... a Christmas Vest. No, I am not kidding. This vest comes fully equipped with realistically-drawn images of Santa, reindeer, a sleigh, poinsettia flowers, red roses, red bows, and a green interior. Ah, tacky delight.
I have owned quite a few Christmas Sweaters, but never a vest. I can only imagine that this means Christmas will be extra special this year. *There was the year we went to a fancy dress party where I went as snow (not the rapper) and Mark was Mr. Tumnus: see below*.

While there are no pictures of said vest at the moment, it shall be on public display this month at a variety of functions. Will you behold it?

Toronto The Good

This is great. Gotta love this city...

Unfolding

"And what was said to the rose to make it unfold
Was said to me, here in my chest
So be quiet now, and rest."
-David Crowder

I love this lyric, it really speaks to me at the moment. For the past week I have been getting ideas for paintings at least three or four times throughout the day. Colours, themes, shapes - EVERYWHERE. I was helping Addie paint a picture at school today and trying my best not to take over!

My digital SLR has served me well over the past year as my creative outlet. And while I love living through the lens, I am SO ready to go back to painting and get my hands dirty.

*Seriously, they get really dirty and everything ends up smelling of oil paint.*

My beyond-supportive man is already keen to help me squeeze this in our schedules. And hopefully, we'll work it into being part of our weekly routine. Hopefully.
I wonder if this is how it feels to get over some sort of writer's block or something...

Now, off to dig out some materials!

If only

I worked in the same office as Dwight.K.Schrute. He is my favourite.

"I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like...Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy."

"When I die. I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time, to figure out exactly why I died. And what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in."

Student Life

A brief and insightful interview with Ryerson's President, Sheldon Levy, about smart cities.
Levy once said, "what is good for Ryerson is good for Toronto".
Well-into my third year of studies in this institution, I agree with that statement.

OK, now to finish my Criminology paper on community policing efforts...eesh.

This is new...

Mark is now officially self-employed. How exciting. We have never done this before, that's for sure. Like working for someone else, it has advantages and disadvantages. For example,
Advantage: he is home A LOT more/getting time off work is no problem.
Disadvantage: no more benefits.

I get a limited amount of benefits with my university tuition, thankfully. Still, not-so-good.

After our long visit to the UK in the spring, we decided to get our dentistry done there from now on instead of buy insurance here. It is much more simple. For example, at an NHS dentist we can get one, two, three or however many fillings we need filled for 45 pounds. One set price. Easy, right?

Here's the thing. My tooth hurts now...I think a cavity is starting to reveal itself.
Can I wait? I really want to wait. One thing I hate more than going to the dentist is PAYING him.

The Deepest Calm

"Isn't she lovely Isn't she wonderful..."
-Stevie Wonder

When I look at the photos of our old place (above), I vividly remember how tranquil and still it was for the first six months with our new babe. Everything from her cries, to her naps, to getting dressed, play times and even mealtimes...everything was full of such great gentleness.
We enjoyed countless long periods of silence as we simply watched her in awe and wonder. I look back and remember the deepest calm. "She's here, she's okay..."
Everyone said that precious time would go by fast.
Everyone was right.

Then Grace came. weighing at 7lbs, on October 20,at 9:38 pm our housemate Sallyanne finally met her wee angel. So far our place has been dim, quiet, peaceful... full of friends and family tip-toeing in to catch a glimpse of the newest member of The Social Club, as we like to call it.

That same wonderful atmosphere is back and I am soaking it up while it lasts.

She smiled at me in her sleep today, and Mark is more broody than ever ;)

"Life flies by in seconds
You’re not a baby
Gracie, you’re my friend
You’ll be a lady soon
But until then
You gotta do what I say"

Critical Instant

Check out this new blog for superb movie reviews. It is written by none other than James Bower, Lincoln native and cinematic genius. You may have seen him in the fancy role of best man at our wedding. We are so pleased that he is publishing these reviews to a blog finally!

Neighbours

Ah, yes...neighbours. As in people situated near each other and not the unbearable Australian soap opera that Mark may or may not like to watch (shhhh).
Neighbours can be wonderful things...they can also be terribly irritating sources of frustration. Do you have any horror stories? Thankfully, Mark & I have always had pretty cool neighbours.

Today we hung out with a local dad who brings his daughter to the same Family Literacy Centre that we attend- it's in the school across the road. This father, his wife & daughter happen to live just up the road from us. Either Mark or myself take Adelaide to the centre at least three mornings a week from 9-11:30AM (she squeals with delight upon arrival and immediately runs to give the teacher a hug) so we see the families there quite a lot. It's great. Great for kids and parents.

When we lived at Sherbourne & Wellesley we had an amazing neighbour right next door to our apartment. She was from Montreal, need I say more? We would go back and forth to each other's apartments in pyjamas most often, sharing food, wine, movies, and company all the time. It was so much fun. We thought we would never score a neighbour like that again. She was our Kramer.
We had to move, but we still see her. In fact, we got together last week and accidentally happened upon a cozy ol' diner on Richmond ... I love those kinds of discoveries :)

Today we were just really blessed when our new friend arrived for one of many successful & thoroughly enjoyable play dates. It's the little things, right? Turns out he was a DJ, just like Mark, so they had loads to talk about. And his wife is going through the same immigration process that we just emerged victorious from. And their two-year old is beyond adorable. Yes, above and beyond!

There are seasons in life. Living here, living there. Having one particular job, having another. Dating, engagement, marriage. Times of little, times of plenty. Everywhere I look I see that this is the right place for us in this season, or chapter of our lives...and I see it clearly. The right friends and Kramers are gathering around us to form what I like to call a beautiful mess - a tight-knit, caring community.
That's what we need...people, and support :) An unashamed MUST-HAVE.
Do you feel the same?

Just this morning, when grocery shopping with our housemate (who is still patiently awaiting the arrival of baby - I knew you would ask!) I thought to myself ahhhhhhhh I LOVE THIS!

I guess these baby steps towards community are really leading us somewhere...

Fourth.

Oh, Canada.